Rear-Ended

Last Friday played out as the perfect TGIF day—two productive and fun meetings at work, a great workout at the Rec Center (using my new birthday-present-to-myself membership) and arrangements made for a house cleaning service to help me keep up with day-to-day demands.

Heading home, I felt a satisfied sense that I really am going to regain my equilibrium despite all the changes in my life. Then, just minutes from home I pulled up behind two cars at a red light and came to a full stop. Suddenly, BAM!—a really loud and forceful BAM! A black Jeep Cherokee plowed into the rear end of my Rav4. I screamed. I cried. My back hurt. But most of all, I panicked at the thought that no one would be home with Gary. His caregiver was leaving for another job and I was “it” for the rest of the night.

While waiting for the police to arrive I anxiously called Home Instead to see if they could send someone over on an emergency basis. Yes! They found someone right away. Whew!

The police officer said I should take the pain in my back seriously and get it checked out. I refused an ambulance and drove myself to the emergency room. Mostly being there consisted of waiting—lying on my back in ER Room 10 looking at the ceiling and wondering about all the people who have looked at the same tiles, pipes, lights and equipment. Maybe this was the last thing some people saw? People have died here. My dad died in an emergency room. Stop!  Enough of those thoughts! I tried to change my focus to gratitude. I was really okay. Yes. But what if it had been worse? What if I had been badly hurt or killed? Who would take care of Gary? The reality of being responsible for the wellbeing of another crashed into me with the impact of another collision.

Soon they discharged me with prescriptions for muscle spasms and pain and a new item for my to-do list—a plan for Gary’s care in the event that….