An Unexpected Job Interview

We’re getting married in Saint Matthew’s Episcopal Cathedral—the oldest and (IMHO) the most beautiful church in Laramie. I have been part of the congregation for about four years now. At the time I started to attend, I was a happy and committed non-church goer. Gary subtly encouraged me to try it, so I pushed past my resistance and showed up one Sunday. Eventually the resistance dissolved and I began to feel at home there. 

Marriage in the church requires several sessions of pre-marital counseling. During our first session with the priest he asked Gary why he wants to marry me. Gary said, “She’s smart. Focused. Gets a lot of things done. She’s good at organizing.”

Hmmm. Not exactly words of romance and adoration. A friend said later that it sounded more like a job interview.

Well, yes, it did. And now that I think about it, that makes perfect sense. On some level, Gary knows what he needs most now isn’t romance, but competency.

Last October during our post-diagnosis meeting with the social worker, she explained that as the disease of Alzheimer’s makes its way through the brain (a process succinctly described in the video below), it destroys inner structures—requiring more and more outer structures to be put into place. So that’s my new job—creating structure to make Gary feel safe and be safe. I hope I can be as good at it as he thinks I will be.